I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
