My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
