I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
