corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
