Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
