it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
