it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
