i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
