I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
