For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
