He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
