I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
