I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It's Friday. Sex?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
