i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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