So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
