hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
do herpes really smell.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
