Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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