would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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