I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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