I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
