This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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