I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
