That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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