he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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