1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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