I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
