Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
