Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
