I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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