I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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