Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize