His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
