the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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