I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
