Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
