Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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