uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize