My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
