do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
