are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
