Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
