Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
