Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
