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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  he wasnt completely random

  (914): View more from New York

  you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i get things done.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.

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• (845): View more from New York

  im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.

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• (510): View more from California

  Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.

  (1-510): View more from California

  That is one convoluted booty call.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.

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• (408): View more from California

  Holy high batman

  (408): View more from California

  The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...

  Fav 1 33 16

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