butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
