See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
