Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
