I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
