So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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