Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
