My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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