Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
