Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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