I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
