the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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