so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
