the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize