Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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