So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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