We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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