come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
