I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
