being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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