Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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