Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
