So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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