i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
